He has stayed with me. I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. That pain is like an axe that chops at my heart.

Think you're going to make me cry,

Make me cry, make me cry.

Think I'm going to wonder why,

Didn't I, pass you by.

Your mind is always changing.

You say so all the time.

Don't know how long you're staying.

That will be your choice, not mine.

Think you're going to make me run,

Make me run, make me run.

Think I'm glad that I'm still young,

Now you've begun to have your fun.

Your eyes are always straying.

You want whatever's far.

I hear the words you're saying.

I'm' learning you, by heart.

I will know you, by heart.

Think you're going to take your time,

Drink your wine, move on to mine.

Music plays, the singer sways,

And you can say – you always move in time.

Today I needed to apply a band-aid to my arm. With a sigh, I leaned into the mirror to plant the adhesive strip to my skin and was reminded of a memory from my childhood. I was nine years old and I fell in front of my neighbors house, scraping my knee. Blood and gravel mixed together to form an ugly, painful sore. I knocked on Frank's door and waited anxiously for him to answer. As the door opened, my knee dangling in the air, Frank smiled and let me in. I sat down on the chair in his living room while he retrieved the band-aid and neosporin from his medicine cabinet. I remember thinking that band-aids were best applied by somebody else. There's something about pulling off those white plastic tabs by myself that always feels pathetic, seems to emphasize the fact that there's no one in the world to do it for me.

Why is it that we always want what we can't have? If you are short then you want to be tall. If you have straight hair then you want it curly. If you are in a relationship then there are times when you wish you were single. The grass always looks greener on the other side. It seems that the feeling of contentment is so fleeting. For a few moments we are happy, but it lasts for just that, a few moments. This is especially true in the dating world. In my year of single-ness I have met a slew of men. Some great and some not so great. Some just down right sucked. But it is almost always the men that down right sucked that leave you wanting more. There was something captivating about them, something intruiging. They are the ones I look back on and wish that it would have worked out. It's not the nice guys who would have given me the world had I asked for it.